KISS

As adults, we over complicate things. I realized this last night when we were sitting around the dinner table after we were done eating talking about random stuff.

Marc was trying to get Ethan to realize that since monkeys eat bananas and he likes bananas that he is a monkey. Instead, Ethan said that he eats bananas and that makes him full. What a simple answer.

As adults and especially my generation, we over complicate, look too deeply, and sometimes search for something that isn't there.

It's like we were taught in school...keep it simple, stupid.

Patience? What's that?

I love my job and the people I work with. However, just like anyone, I get annoyed sometimes. Ok, a lot of times. We are in a fairly open space and can talk “over” the walls of our cubes. Thank goodness I have walls and people can’t see the faces I make sometimes…I think that’s my only saving grace.

Anyone that knows me (and my mother) knows that I wasn't blessed with a ton of patience for other people. Even my three years in retail couldn't make a dent. I’ll admit that having a child has helped a little, but it also makes me realize that adults should know better. I have more patience for children because they don’t know. Adults do and therefore get the short end of my patience stick.

So I beg to ask…when you can’t fake nice anymore, is it better just to ignore someone? How do you politely tell them that you don’t care and just want them to leave you alone? On one hand, they are just being nice, but on the other I feel like they are invading my personal space. Where is Ethan when I need him to tell them “LEAVE ME ALONE?” Of course he would be sent to time out, but it would make me feel better. This is one of those time when the old adage “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” might not work.

One of my cube mates talks to herself (out loud) quite often. It’s just annoying; especially because she is one of those people that use 5 words when 2 will suffice. I have dropped subtle hints…head phones, talking loudly on my phone. We play a game every morning. I try to be as quiet as I can be when I come into work because the MOMENT she hears a peep at my desk, she starts talking. For the love of Pete, just let me get some coffee first.

There is someone else that works in our office who sends out emails a few times a week reminding us what a beautiful world this is and we should smile and blah blah blah. I hate these emails because they just remind me that she has time on her hands to put this crap together while I am working my tail off trying to get my work done on time. But how do I tell her “Please take me off your email list because they piss me off”? I just can’t find a way to do it nicely. Why do I have to be nice? It’s a curse.

I think they should add a course to the required curriculum in college that teaches you how to deal with people that you don’t see eye to eye with. Lord knows we could all use some help in learning how to be nice, me included.

Maybe I should start talking to myself. Then they might think I'm crazy. I could send emails filled with profanity, but that would just get me fired to. Damn it. I guess I'm just stuck since I love my job. It's like being in hell but with great hair and a killer outfit. Such is life...

Pass the peanut butter, Joaquin

I'm sitting here eating my peanut butter (yes, peanut butter) sandwich for lunch reading an article in the AJC about the salmonella tainted peanut butter and I'm starting to get a little outraged. I see pictures of these two men, Stewart Parnell and Sammy Lightsey, and my brain is just screaming "MURDERERS!!"

Aside from the emails revealing that they knew of the contamination, we of course will assume they are guilty since they refused to answer any questions directed at them. Their lack of admission pretty much shows that they are guilty. If you haven't done anything wrong, then what do you have to hide?

If I had my way, they would not have been able to leave the room before the family members of those that died had testified. Why should they have been spared the harsh reality of their actions? Is that fair? Is that justice? My favorite part of the hearing was when they were asked if they would even eat any of their own products. I didn't see them jump up to grab the container of food...I guess they were still full from lunch.

But let's look just a little deeper. The article mentions that back in October 2008, a food testing company alerted the plant manager about the salmonella in a follow-up test. So why did no one from this company say anything to anyone else? Are we putting too much faith in people? Maybe we can create more jobs by having a better checks and balances system instead of just blindly trusting that people will do the right thing.

Shame on everyone who had a hand, better yet even just a finger, in this. I fully believe that the two men mentioned above should be charged with the murder of each victim. But as I have said before, karma will come back to bite them in tushy. They have not only tainted possibly one of the best foods ever (what else can you put on cookies, crackers, and chicken) but they traded 9 people's lives to put more money in their pockets. I can't think of a more selfish act.

I had to mention Joaquin Pheonix because his interview (or lack there of) on Letterman was, I think, hilariously sad. I heard the rumor that he has a social disorder. If that is true, then why for the love of all that is holy would he agree to go on Letterman? I've also heard that he was probably intoxicated because of said disorder. Once again...why??? It's not like you can cancel your appearance on Letterman at the last minute. Thanks to McCain, we know what David does when you don't show.

I wish Joaquin the best in whatever he does and I can only hope that his Hip-Hop career (yikes)be as successful and prosperous as his acting career.

Thomas Edison

One of my new found loves is my iGoogle homepage. When I get to work, I can get everything right on one page...news, weather, even a game (don't tell the boss!). One of my widgets is "Quote of the Day." I love quotes. Used them quite often in papers and articles throughout my school career and they attributed to many a stellar grade.

So a few weeks ago there is a quote from Thomas Edison that says, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Almost immediately a light bulb goes off...this is one of the problems with society today. People are so afraid to fail, that they just don't try. What we really need to teach is that failure is not bad, it's part of the learning process.

Society is so afraid to let kids these day fail at anything that schools are taking away grades, classic playground games, and even keeping score. Instead, let them fail and TEACH them how to fix what is wrong. We all know that everyone keeps score in the real world, so let's give our kids the tools to do the best they can.

My girlfriend called me the other day and told me that for the first time in her life, she received a negative review at work. Her boss was very quick to make note of everything that she had done wrong. I listen to what she is saying and am confused (I've worked with her and know her ethics and this didn't sound like her at all). Then I ask her "Well, what did your boss say you need to do to improve and 'fix' your problems?" The answer...she didn't. Her boss gave her no direction in the steps she needed to take to improve.

Now call me naive, but one would think that if someone seems to be working hard but the work isn't paying off, then that person must not know of another way to do whatever it is they are doing. Think about driving. You take the same route to work every day because you think it's the only or best way. Then someone clues you in to a short cut. And by golly, it cuts 10 minutes off of your commute.

And what about teaching kids HOW to figure things out? Seems like a lost art form to me. I see too many parents and teachers that just do stuff for their kids instead of talking the child through it. Reminds me of my son trying to do a puzzle. If a piece doesn't fit, I don't immediately tell him where to put it. I tell him to try to turn it or try a different spot. I'm making him figure it out but at the same time teaching him HOW to figure it out.

A little bit about the author...

1. I am an adult child of divorce. My parents didn't split until I was 23. Yes, it was hard. It was a joke to think that it would be easy since I knew and understood what was going on.
2. I go to therapy (see #1) once a month and I love it!
3. I don't fake nice very well. If something or someone is getting on my nerves, it's pretty apparent even if I try to hide it.
4. I don't follow the stock market...I don't even know what NASDAC stands for (if it even does).
5. I will quote a movie whenever I have the chance.
6. Music has saved my sanity on many occasions.
7. I can remember stuff people said 20 years ago, but I can't remember to take medicine when I am sick.
8. During the week, please don't talk to me before I've had coffee. It's not pretty. But I don't drink coffee on the weekends.
9. I would take Skittles over Snickers any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
10. Everything happens for a reason and karma is a bitch. I live by this. I think the secret to life is figuring out why things are happening before you go off the deep end.
11. It may not show, but I quietly mourn for those who have lost someone, even if I never met them. Everyone is someone else's child. Every life is precious and meaningful.
12. Wii bowling is the only "sport" that I can beat my husband at. There is not a single athletic bone in my body.
13. Not a day goes by that my child doesn't make me smile. That's a good feeling.
14. I could spend every dollar of every paycheck at Target. Hands down the best store EVER!
15. If given the choice, I would rather be behind the camera.
16. I am addicted to FaceBook and reality television.
17. Running is torture. If you want to kill me, just make me run.
18. It's no secret that I am in love with Scott Weiland. Yes, I know he is a druggie, but damn, he's hot!
19. When I was 12, I knew every line of "Sixteen Candles" and it made my grandmother's heart palpitate.
20. I would rather email than talk on the phone. I am awful about remembering to call people and always think about it at the wrong time. There is no wrong time to email...it's perfect!
21. I can come up with an excuse for just about anything. It's a special gift.
22. One of my most favorite moments with Ethan happened just this past weekend. Saturday morning we were cleaning up the downstairs. Marc and I decided not to turn the TV on and we turned on some music and the three of us danced around the house in our PJs all morning. It was great.
23. People nowadays are too sensitive about EVERYTHING.
24. I have no regrets in life. I am happy with the way my life is, therefore, I can't regret anything that has brought me to this point (see #10).
25. Someone near and dear to me has done something that no amount of apologies will ever fix or make any less painful. And I will probably go off the deep end before I figure out why this happened.
26. My handwriting changes depending on what kind of pen I am using.
27. When I hear the song "You Are the Best Thing" by Ray LaMontagne, I picture Marc and I dancing together when we are old and gray.